


Keep Your Feet On The Ground

by unchartedelissa (elissanerdwriter)



Series: Adventure (Fam) Time [1]
Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Nightmares, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 13:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7440856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elissanerdwriter/pseuds/unchartedelissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It still felt like a dream to her sometimes. She’d never imagined the way her life would go, at least not since she was a child and anything seemed possible; but when their adventures were happening, they felt like the realest things in the world. When she was out away from home was when she felt the most solid, as if she were only really herself when she was traveling and getting into firefights and holding onto her life with the tips of her fingers. But this life, painting houses and making lunch and writing articles about places she wasn’t in, it had always felt faded and dreamlike. She always felt guilty for that, like this was what she was supposed to want. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Nate and Cassie- she did, so much it hurt- but she always felt empty when she was doing nothing but living day-to-day. That wasn’t who she was, that wasn’t who Nate was, and that wasn’t who she wanted Cassie to be. She needed something extraordinary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep Your Feet On The Ground

“We can still stop him.”

“Elena, don’t-”

“No, we can help you-”

“Sorry, love. This isn’t a movie, and you’re not the plucky girl who reforms the villain and saves the day. It’s just not done like that.”

“Flynn, listen to me. You-”

“Parting gift from Lazarevic. Pity he took the pin.”

“Get back!”

“Elena!”

Elena woke up just as the grenade flashed, panic washing over her instead of shrapnel and fire. She jolted in the bed, a scream stuck in her throat, then lay completely still for a moment, every muscle tensed. It was a dream. She was dreaming. That was all.

She opened her eyes, slowly becoming more aware of her actual surroundings. Nate’s face was right next to hers, mouth open. He had barely stirred, despite the arm under her shoulders. She smiled slightly, taking a moment to feel the heat of his skin on hers before sitting up carefully. The air was cold on her sweat-soaked back as she pushed aside the sheets, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and padding across the room in her bare feet. Vicky, in her bed at the foot of theirs, blinked at her tiredly but didn’t get up.

Elena stepped out onto the porch of their home, resting her elbows on the railing while she looked out at the ocean. The moon was shining on the sand, making everything glow brightly. Almost full, she thought, tapping her fingers on the wood. They’d painted it blue just that morning, and it was still the tiniest bit tacky from the humid air. She resisted the urge to pick at it. This was their new home, and she didn’t want to make it messy too quickly. Of course, with her, Nate, and a five-year-old, it would hardly stay perfect for long.

It still felt like a dream to her sometimes. She’d never imagined the way her life would go, at least not since she was a child and anything seemed possible; but when their adventures were happening, they felt like the realest things in the world. When she was out away from home was when she felt the most solid, as if she were only really herself when she was traveling and getting into firefights and holding onto her life with the tips of her fingers. But this life, painting houses and making lunch and writing articles about places she wasn’t in, it had always felt faded and dreamlike. She always felt guilty for that, like this was what she was supposed to want. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Nate and Cassie- she did, so much it hurt- but she always felt empty when she was doing nothing but living day-to-day. That wasn’t who she was, that wasn’t who Nate was, and that wasn’t who she wanted Cassie to be. She needed something extraordinary.

They had started going on jobs again when Cassie was three, after a period when depression stuck Elena in bed for hours on end, unable to see the point in getting dressed or going out or anything she needed to do. The adventures gave her a reason to get up in the morning, as cliche as it sounded. They had to be more careful now that there was something they were coming home to, someone who needed them. Sure, Sam and Sully would miss them if they died, and she’d be heartbroken if she lost Nate, but Cassie… They had to come back, for her sake. They had to stay on the right side of the law (well, mostly), and choose their clients wisely. She loved it, a lot. It was enough to keep her moving through the bare days, make her feel something. She didn’t need the raw thrill of their old adventures. But then, of course, there were the dreams.

That was one thing she hadn’t expected when she started traveling the world, trying to document atrocities and make whatever difference she could. She’d known she would see terrible things, and she’d expected the nightmares in the months right after, in the nights back home where she woke early in the morning and thought she was still in Nepal, or Yemen. But she hadn’t imagined how they would stack up. How the horrors she saw crept under her skin and caught her when she least expected it, when she hadn’t thought about them in years. They would be dredged up in her dreams, and she’d wake up choking on panic and soaked in sweat. On the worst days she couldn’t shake it all day, and it took all her effort not to snap out at her family. They were better when she was busy, but when it was just the three of them at home, there was nothing to distract her. She’d started to fear sleeping.

It was a hard balance. She was empty without the adrenaline, terrified when it flooded her, and she couldn’t control either. It was getting better, and had been for the last few years, but she knew there would always be nights like tonight.

She heard the creak of the door and spun around. Cassie was standing in the doorway, half her face lit by moonlight and eyes wide. “Mommy?”

Elena smiled softly. “Did I wake you up?”

Cassie nodded, then came further onto the porch, shutting the door carefully behind her. “That’s okay, though. Who woke you up?”

“Daddy. He was snoring so loudly, I’m surprised you didn’t hear it.”

Her daughter giggled as she came up to her. “Daddy doesn’t snore, Mommy. You do sometimes, though.”

“I do not!” Elena told her in mock outrage.

“Yes you do, when you’re sick! Daddy thinks it’s funny.”

Well, that was something Elena hadn’t known. Nate probably didn’t tell her because he didn’t want to embarrass her, but she didn’t really care. “Well then. Maybe I woke myself up.”

Suddenly, Cassie’s face got serious. “Mommy, I’m not mad you woke me up, but you shouldn’t be out here.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“We just painted it! You can’t touch it when it’s painted.”

Elena laughed softly. Nate had told Cassie not to touch the painted railing, but he hadn’t clarified why or for how long. “No, it’s fine. You just have to wait until the paint’s dry. See?” She reached for Cassie’s hand, and the little girl complied, poking tentatively at the railing. “It’s fine now. And it looks pretty in the moon, doesn’t it?”

Cassie nodded silently, looking out at the beach through the railing. After a moment, Elena asked, “Do you want to sit up here? You can see better.”

Cassie looked up at her in awe. “Can I?”

“Yes. Only when me or Daddy’s with you, though.”

She nodded eagerly. “Okay.”

Elena picked her up, setting her on the railing with her legs swinging over the side and standing behind her, arms on either side of her small body. “That’s better, isn’t it?”

Cassie leaned back and tucked her head into Elena’s neck. “Yes.”

It was silent, both of them looking out over the beach, but Elena could feel Cassie tensing like she wanted to say something but couldn’t figure out how. She waited for her to figure out how to say it, wondering what she could be thinking about.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, Cassie?”

She paused for a moment. “When you got up… it sounded like you were crying.”

Elena blinked, then slowly reached up to her own face, feeling it still wet. She’d barely noticed she was crying. “I might’ve been, love. Don’t worry about it, though. Everything’s okay. I just had a bad dream.”

She could tell Cassie was processing and storing the information that adults, too, could have nightmares. “Last time you cried, it was because Uncle Sam got hurt. Were you dreaming about that?”

She hadn’t thought Cassie had heard her that night. Sam had gotten shot on a job and Sully had to leave him on the streets, and it took them almost a week to locate him. He’d been fine, but it was a rough week. “Not exactly, honey, but it was something like that. It was something from a long time ago.”

“Before I was born?”

“Yes.” She closed her eyes. “A long time before you were born.”

Cassie seemed content with her answers, but Elena felt like she wasn’t telling her enough. That was all she needed to know, maybe, but Elena wanted her to know more. She needed her to.

But now wasn’t the time. That was what she and Nate had decided. They didn’t lie to her about what they had done before she was born, but she couldn’t really understand yet that they had lives before her. She was already so perceptive, but there were some stories a young child didn’t need to know, and her parents almost dying (multiple times) was one of them. Maybe with a few more years they could turn it into a story, an adventure tale, but it was still too soon. The edges were too sharp.

The two of them stayed there for a while longer, Elena feeling the heat of her child and the gentle movement of her body as she breathed deeply, smelling the air. Elena’s thoughts began to settle, replaced with the rhythm of waves and breath and a slight discomfort from the position she was standing in. The moon moved slowly across the sky. Elena wondered what stories Cassie imagined about the moon. What did she think of the stars? How did she imagine the world, without the experience she’d gain as she lived? She was so young and light, and Elena was so heavy.

She was taken from her thoughts by the sound of someone stirring in the house. Cassie and Elena both froze, then slowly looked at each other. “Daddy,” Elena whispered. “We should go back to bed before he wakes up.” Cassie nodded, and they both started to move slowly, Elena lifting her down from the railing.

“Elena? That you?”

His voice was thick with sleep and just a little too loud, and both girls stopped again, grins creeping across their faces. The sound of shuffling continued, followed by a soft thud and an unintelligible mutter. Elena put a hand over her mouth, shaking silently, and Cassie copied her, both of them crouched on the porch.

The door finally creaked open and Nate came out, blinking out at the beach and rubbing his elbow. A sheet was wrapped around his waist like he hadn’t been able to get it off. Cassie took one look at him and started giggling uncontrollably. He looked over at them, startled, before his face switched into a stern expression. “I thought you were a burglar, little rascal. Was all ready to defend my girls ‘n I’d just be defending you from yourself.”

His voice was adorably husky. Cassie laughed harder, but Elena thought he might have a point. “Oh yes, my knight. What effective armor you have.” Nate rolled his eyes at her, coming up and standing in front of both of them with his arms crossed. “I told her to go back to bed, but she wouldn’t,” Elena told him.

Cassie looked at her with outrage. “No you didn’t-”

“Shhhh.” Elena scooped her into a hug, holding her squirming body gently. “Yes I did. And now it’s time to go inside.”

Cassie relaxed disappointedly, allowing Elena to pick her up and start carrying her inside. Nate followed them, one hand resting on Elena’s shoulder as she carried Cassie to her room and laid her in bed, pulling the sheet over her. “I’m sorry for waking you up, Cass. We’ll see you in the morning,” she said, smiling at her daughter.

Cassie returned the smile and rolled over so her back was to them. They left the room, shutting the door behind them.

Elena leaned against the wall opposite the door, taking a deep breath. Nate wrapped his arms around her, and she laid her head on his shoulder gratefully. They stayed there for a moment, his fingers tangled lightly in her hair and her hands resting on his warm back. Finally, he tilted his head so his mouth was next to her ear and murmured, “Want to talk about it?”

She took a long breath. Her body had relaxed, her heartbeat normal, but now she was feeling the ache, the sadness of what had happened all those years ago. Before the wedding. Before the house. Before Cassie.

“Flynn,” she told him quietly.

He nodded. “I’m sorry.”

After a moment, they both let go and returned to their bedroom, sliding into bed. Nate fell asleep immediately, but Elena laid awake for a while, feeling something else creeping in with the regret. It almost felt like relief. For those minutes, out on the porch with her daughter, she had felt solid. She’d felt like this was the realest thing in the world, her and Nate and Cassie in their new, blue house by the sea. And maybe it was.

Things could always get better.

She fell asleep with the sounds of the sea and her husband’s breathing in her ears and a small smile on her lips.

**Author's Note:**

> I might turn this into a series because Cassie is my child and I love her. Idk we'll see. Come check me out on tumblr at unchartedelissa!


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